Today was such a crappy day, though it was supposed to be a good one...Strangely, I can say I've felt it inside of me ever before it actually begun (I don't know if I make any sense right now)...it was like I knew things wouldn't turn up great, even though I wanted to ignore my feelings...
Crap!Crap!Crap!I feel so low!I just...I feel like I wanna scream, and scratch and bite all together...and it's painful...I know it's my fault, or maybe I shouldn't beat myself up so hard on this...I just wanted to escape...it took me a lot to ovecome my fear...but it's not enough...
Why?I am not made for failure...It doesn't motivate me;on the contrary,it makes me sink...I am inspired by victory...more or less small...
So what do I do now?Get up and step forward?And how do I keep it all together?
Maybe I exagerate...but I feel it so deep...so acute...
Why aren't we robots?Cold machineries designed to act, not feel...
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i think i know why you've chosen to write this in english :)
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